Flavour of the Week

One of my jobs in admin is to send, collect and separate the mail. Of course, The Owner's in tray is at the top, and my "Customer Feedback" tray is at the bottom "where we belong", according to my departing trainer.

The Owner is notoriously private and paranoid and doesn't like to disclose his name or address to anyone, which I suppose, is why he has correspondence forwarded to his work address and email addresses such as the standard FirstnameSurname@TheCompany.com as well as
CanteenLady@TheCompany.com and CaptainSpock@TheCompany.com. To highlight his sense of humour, of course.

Well, in the process of sorting his mail, I came across a thick catalogue, obviously printed on heavy, glossy paper. The plastic wrap was silver coloured so as to ensure privacy and confidentiality of the documents. I was really curious then. What could be so personal and private that he is having delivered to his work address? And Head Office, no less. So I pulled at the plastic and peeked in from the top, it was a Bentley catalogue. Because of course, everyone needs to update their Bentley with each season!

It is rumoured that he has several Bentleys and other assorted flash cars. This was told to me by a former staff member (made 'redundant' and since quit) who was sent to his house to drop off something, and was so impressed with his collection of cars (as her boyfriend would've been so jealous) that she took photos with her digital camera. Then she looked up and realised, 'Sh*t! There's a camera staring right down at me" Knowing The Owner, it was probably being beamed to his home office or something.

Well, given the hot weather today, the car of choice was the canary yellow, convertible Porsche Carrera. The other day it was the silver Mercedes S500. One for each day of the week, huh. Don't worry if you forget something at home, you can just send one of your "blondes" to go home and fetch it for you.

The blondes thing: our reception/admin department has our open office area right outside The Owner's office, and so he often strolls out and gets us to do random tasks of his. Like clean his office. Or stand at attention while he tests something. Or work out how to operate the spiffy new label machine he ordered be bought as he couldn't find the less new one. It's not uncommon to hear him yell out (as you always hear him before you see him) "Now, I need a blonde to help me...." Some staff are his favourites. He even addresses them casually by nickname or surname. The admin girls all happen to be blonde. Except me, I am replacing one of them, so I suppose now he can't use that demand anymore. In any case, when he does, I ignore him, as I am obviously not blond. I have work to do. And so I do it.

"Wow, a Bentley catalogue... I wish I could afford a Bentley."
ponder for a second... "I wish I could afford to eat..."
I realise that final comment would probably be funnier if I was big... haha. "I'm wasting away..."